Mirror Mirror on the Wall

There is something that tends to happen when people have babies … and that is the fire between the husband and wife can slowly diminish.

Let’s take a small step back.

Every couple or relationship goes through certain steps…

When you first meet you are usually in the “lovey dovey” phase and getting to know each other.

Then things start getting serious and you start traveling together and merging as two pees in a pod or two individuals becoming one, which eventually leads to finishing each other’s sentences and thoughts.

The next biggest step is getting married then living under the same roof, which can be a major change because now you have to completely adapt and learn to adjust to someone completely new: How they like their food, how they like to eat, shower, use the bathroom. Are they over tidy or super messy?

These are the reasons as to why most couples, especially in Lebanon, take at least one year after marriage to get to know each other or live the married life before having children.

Then, you feel like you got this marriage thing down and BAM the baby!

Now… Changes Are Coming!

Let me tell you a little about my husband and I’s history….

Our chemistry has always been undeniable …. at least it was for us.

Nothing changed even after marriage, thank the Heavens, especially because we lived together for a while before getting married.

It made our decision easy to take that step that much easier because we couldn’t imagine our lives continuing without each other.

Once I got pregnant, my hormones were extremely out of wack, especially because I couldn’t stand anything touching or being close to me — no really, ask anyone who tried touching my baby bump — some didn’t even make it out alive… Ok, I’m kidding about the last part.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I couldn’t believe I had gained so much weight and although, that’s normal and part of the process, my brain just couldn’t compute.

Then, the baby came and the chemistry was back, but I just wasn’t ready.

Sometimes I still feel like I am not attractive anymore, like having this baby changed the way I look at myself.

I tried changing my hair with color and style, it worked for a little bit but then those feelings were back.

My husband thinks otherwise and tells me every day that I am beautiful and looks at me in the same way he used to before, but for some reason it still hasn’t changed my thoughts.

As much as my feelings affect me, I also have to think of my husband.

I can’t let him feel that way, that how he looks at me doesn’t matter or the effort he is making to make me feel better helps only just a little, because sadly a woman’s mind is way too complicated to help the situation.

So, Husby, if you’re reading this — I love you, and I cannot thank you enough for seeing the beauty in me as often and as much as you do, you ain’t so bad yourself, haha!

My job isn’t only to just be a mom, I am also, a wife, and more than that I am, me.

I promise it sounds worse that it actually is, blog posts can come off a bit overly dramatic.

Look, at the end of the day, adaptation is part of life, and you have to learn to go along with it. I am me, but a new version. Mandy 2.0 — Mama Shugar.

I guess my software has a few more updates left to go through before I am running on all cylinders but thankfully, I am surrounded by the most loving family and group of friends in the world, who will no doubt start sending me text messages, phoning me, and complimenting me to ensure I am reminded that I am beautiful, loved, and appreciated.

If you are one of those out there who is experiencing the same changes, feelings, and mood, know that you are not alone at all.

I’m right there with you, chica, and we got to stick together.

It’s US against the world, and feel free to add some more women empowering taglines and motivational phrases.

That’s all for now.

Mama Shugar, OUT!