The Unintentional Loneliness of Motherhood

It seems, to me, that most mommy bloggers, and social media famous moms, who also label themselves as influencers — so in a sense mom-fluencers, want to make motherhood look like a walk in the park.

Since my perspective is a bit different, I thought I would share a little bit of truth to what some mothers, like myself, can sometimes feel, and trust me it ain’t what mom-fluencers propagandize.

Motherhood, as well as being a stay at home mom, definitely has its perks.

I am able to see every moment of Melody’s life (every eye twitch, gasp, attempt at laughter, and smile), and not missing anything new that she does as she slowly begins to discover the wonder of life.

On the other hand, what most women don’t talk about is how lonely all of this can sometimes be, especially when this is your first baby.

Don’t get me wrong!

It is not always lonely.

I sometimes have so many errands to run, add to that having to feed, bathe, change and newly some mini playing with Mel to make some of the time pass.

My personal and social life, however, I am the only one amongst my friends who is currently experiencing motherhood, and that opens the door to allow some loneliness to set in.

Since being a mom is a 24/7 hour job, where you have to be alert and ready at any moment that your child needs you, it can exhaust your energy although you may not be doing much.

You tend to stop having things to relate to with your friends because you are at a different point in your life than they are.

This is an inevitable outcome.

I, sometimes, unintentionally and irrationally resent my husband for working a lot.

It gets caught up in my head how unfair it is that he is always out and I am home taking all the crying, cleaning, and chaos from Mel.

Then, the storm inside my head settles…the clouds disappear…the sunlight returns and I realize how stupid I was for even allowing those thoughts in.

Hormones, you gotta hate them!

It’s funny because just the other day, my husband looked at me and Mel and said, “I hate that I’m jealous of you.”

“Jealous? Of me,” I exclaimed.

I couldn’t understand what on Earth he was jealous of, until he explained that he hated how I got to see all her firsts, and experience her journey of discovering things from the minor to the major.

My husband, ladies and gentlemen!

This post may not have been as fun and exciting as the others I have written but I wanted to share my experience and the truth behind some parts of becoming a mom — the ugly and unspoken truth.

No mother dares speak out about the unintentional loneliness, or the hormonal storms, or the messiness of being a mom — somehow it is shameful to do so.

Well, I have no shame, and neither should any of you mom’s reading.

One never realizes how much being a mom can take a toll on your life and your energy, until they experience it first-hand.

I am sure that with time and as Mel grows more and more, she will fill my time to the point where I won’t even remember the loneliness I feel at this moment.

She will be running and playing and learning and my life will be filled with exciting new and different adventures.

Rant over.

Mama Shugar OUT!